You see 3 teeth with root canals. I didn’t do the 2 on the left (they have room for improvement…), but I will claim ownership of the one on the far right. It’s easy to see – it has a 90 degree bend right at the tip. How do we get around those curves? Lots of files and even more patience…….
If I’m full of Awe, does that make me awful?
A dear friend once defined an “Awe” moment as the ultimate combustion. I liked this. I liked it because I see this combustion as some cognitive experience resulting from seeing something truly for the first time or re-witnessing something with a renewed vision. This cannot, in my opinion, just happen. But before I get into that, I’d like to break down these experiences a little more. They must be something that is not momentarily profound and forgotten, like passing a billboard on the highway that makes us reflect or laugh until we’ve reached the next one. I believe it’s germane to this conversation to have some working definition of not only what these experiences are, but what affect(s) they produce. For a moment, experience, event or whatever to be, by definition, the ultimate combustion (still love that phrase…an awe moment??), certain criteria should be met – please bear in mind these are strictly my opinions and your conditions may differ (you would be wrong, but feel free to disagree anyway…). Anyway, these can’t be fleeting moments – they should be not only profound, but long lasting and produce, slightly or significantly, a change in our outlook, attitude and even our persona. These changes are likely to be small and likely imperceptible to others, but to us they smack of the divine. Perhaps we become more patient with our children, our spouse or we have more empathy/sympathy for our fellow man or we simply allow people to merge instead of racing to cut them off – whatever the effect, it is profound, life altering and lasts. In essence, it is an experience that effects change. Which then begs the question: are we able to change? I suppose it is central to what I posit that we must have the capacity for change, but change becomes more difficult with age, doesn’t it? It seems that in our youth, we have an abundance of neural pathways that afford us a great capacity to change, but as we travel down the road of life, the alternative avenues seem to diminish until we really are who we are and finding another road seems all but impossible. I believe firmly that with great will (internal) and support (external), change is possible. Unfortunately, I also believe most of us don’t have the will (or event the desire) to alter our life’s course for the better. This is why most people don’t really experience these moments – because they aren’t open to them. Most of us plod though our days and nights, thinking of opportunities missed, regretting something we said or did and feeling guilt/remorse because we may or may not have hurt someone. We feel cheated by another’s dishonesty, abused by a superior or perhaps we revel in our successes or how our children did well at a school concert – whatever. The point is, we are wasting our energy on events we can no more alter than the course of the earth. That is not to say we shouldn’t learn from our experiences (I believe that is central to the theme of this paper), but we shouldn’t spend most of our waking hours dwelling on our past success and failure. Concomitantly, we also spend time worrying/anticipating things to come. As we worry about an exam, interview, our children’s future, we leave the present and indulge our fears. When we indulge our wants, desires or hopes, we leave the present which fuels our ego, inflates our expectations and we provide ourselves with a false sense of reality. That is not to say we should not live without any anticipation or hope, but it is the overindulgence of this that can take us out of the moment and be potentially destructive. For instance, we anticipate a vacation for months – going to Hawaii! Love it! Excited, can’t talk about anything else, think about anything else or focus on anything. While we have been anticipating this well-deserved vacation (insert tongue into cheek now), we have managed to miss a few sunsets in our own backyard: Time with our family because we were too busy looking for those yellow bathing shorts with the Polo insignia on them (because that will hide our fat stomach…), and we have taken money at work for a job we barely managed to complete with a modicum of competency. But, the big day arrives and after obligatory hugs and kisses that are more burdensome than gratifying, you dump the kids wherever and you’re off to the airport. The next 10 days are a combination of delayed flights, bumped hotel rooms, cars breaking down, 9 ½ days of rain, losing you wallet and a rash from the sunscreen you put on for the ½ day of sunshine you did get. Don’t get me wrong – to not be a little excited about Hawaii is insane! But it shouldn’t come at the expense on the present and some potentially exciting moments at home. That’s also not to say that your anticipation won’t be rewarded with a wonderful trip – it likely will. My only point is that your anticipation won’t change it one way or the other and will only set up an expectation that will improbably become reality. So what’s the point of all this rambling?? The point is that while we cannot escape our past (good and bad) and we cannot bend the future to our will, but it is the now that we live in and do experience and where we do change (or not). It is also in the now that we experience these awe moments and only when we have shed the past and do not concern ourselves with what has to occur, we are open to these experiences. So, what is their nature? Why do we have them? Are all capable of having them? It seems the answers to these and the many other questions that surround these epiphany-type experiences are complex (beyond my understanding), but I think there are some features that seem self-evident: At the simplest level, we first must be open to them – that is, living in the now. As we focus our attention and emotion toward what we see around us, our minds will be more prepared and open to receive and process and translate this ultimate combustion. Again, if we’re constantly obsessed with what we cannot change, we build a dam around ourselves diverting any and all experiences and keeping them from washing over us. It seems, too, that since we don’t have these experiences in isolation (although we certainly can) they are often had in the company of others – interestingly, those others in our company often aren’t affected in the same way we are, so that begs the question: Why not? If it is some spiritual message, wouldn’t all be influenced by it? Perhaps, but maybe the messenger is capable of laser-like precision in the delivery. Or, as I think is always the case, there may be no spiritual component involved at all (remember – I’m not a spiritual guy), but all our past experiences and understanding have established the foundation for us to interpret the moment as a life-altering event. Take, for instance, watching your children being born; who wouldn’t call that one of the ultimate awe moments? We watch them take their first breath, see them have their first meal, and now we face the responsibility of raising them to be a kind, honest, responsible, productive…….well, you get what I mean. Now, you could make the argument that, if these moments produce a change in people and if childbirth is the ultimate changing experience (if not at the top, it’s got to be in the top 5…), why are some parents so completely inept, selfish, uncaring or just plain nincompoops? My response would simply be that they weren’t prepared to have the experience, regardless of the reason. At any rate, it seems these moments will be ones that speak to us because of a unique, complex set of circumstances (again, our past experiences, teachings, beliefs, disbeliefs, understanding, prejudices, etc.) and I think it impossible to weigh any one influence significantly higher than another, which is why something that may seem profound to Tom Shackleton may seem trivial and mundane to someone else (“32 flavors??? I’m a new man!!!” says Tom…). That shouldn’t diminish the value of the experience, it simply individualizes it, which one could argue makes it more valuable. Of course, as humans, we want others to have the same feeling we do, and it may sadden us that they don’t (I know I feel that way when Lori doesn’t get excited about 32 flavors…), but again, I think if we try to enjoy and change and grow, then our loved ones and friends will directly (or indirectly) benefit as we become the best version of ourselves.
I was going through my Word documents the other day and came across this little essay. I know, it’s a lazy post, but then again, I’m a lazy guy….
I’d rather have a Bottle in Front of Me than a Frontal Lobotomy!
“Excuse me, but I think you’re standing on my Pre-Frontal Cortex”
Prior to a discussion of lobotomies (doesn’t the name give you a shiver?) or as it also known, a Leucotomy, let’s have a little review of the pre-frontal cortex and its functions. As the name implies, it is located in the front seat of the big, grey, wrinkly raisin and its location makes it quite susceptible to damage (this might be a good time to put on your crash helmet). Not much has been understood about brain function historically and then along came a fellow named Phineas Gage, who, in 1848, provided some insight to the workings of our minds. Working as a Tamper (a guy who packs explosive charges with a metal rod – a fact that calls into question his pre-injury mental status…) for a railroad company, he took his eye off his work for only a moment when an explosion occurred and his 3 foot long iron rod blew up through his cheek, his frontal lobe and exited out the top of his noggin, landing almost 30 yards away, carrying some brain matter with it – ouch! Amazingly, he survived and was quickly descended upon by a host of doctors who wanted to study this medical miracle. He did suffer some minor paralysis, but cognitively, he remained intact – or so it seemed. Friends and loved ones reported that he suffered from anxiety, irritability, rash behaviour, mood swings and an inability to focus on any long-term tasks…kind of like an adolescent, only without the pimples. Since then, much attention has been placed on this region of the brain, and we know it is primarily used as an executive centre, a cerebral oval office, if you will. It participates in short-term memory, IQ, judgement, sorts out conflicting thoughts (you know, cognitive dissonance), socialization, and so on. It is directly connected with parts of the brain that also govern emotions, sexual drive (J) and other primitive (but fun) behaviours. When it all functions properly, we have a “normal,” well-adjusted individual capable of loving, laughing, crying and thinking at the appropriate time and situation (give or take as we’re all on some gigantic sliding scale between “normal” and “abnormal”). When it’s not functioning properly, you get Idaho skinheads.
“I’m sorry, you’re going to do what with that ice pick?”
Enter Dr. Antonio Moniz, a Portuguese surgeon who, in 1935, introduced a little procedure he called a Prefrontal Leucotomy in which he made a small incision in the temple, bored a hole through the skull and injected alcohol into the prefrontal area, destroying the nerve tissue and effectively severing the connections the prefrontal cortex had with the limbic system and Reticular Activating System. He refined his procedure by inventing a little rod with a retractable wire loop (called a leucotome) to mechanically severe the nerve connections in the pre-frontal cortex. For this, he was awarded the Nobel Prize for medicine in 1949. I don’t want to be so arrogant as to tell the Nobel Foundation how to run their little show, but I think further study may have been warranted…
Anyway, an American (damn Americans…) doctor named Walter Freeman heard of this procedure and brought it over to the colonies and opened his own little shop of horrors in 1936. Frustrated by the messiness and time consuming procedure of having to flap temporal scalp tissue back and the necessity of a real operation room (not to mention all the people who didn’t have access to this medical wonder), he set out to expedite the operation and obviate any need for a surgical suite.
Fast forward to 1946 in Dr. Freeman’s kitchen:
“Honey, how’s the experimental brain surgery coming?” “Ugh, it’s driving me crazy. So much time wasted on putting them to sleep, cutting through the scalp, all the blood (shivers with grimace), and all the schizophrenics are in asylums, so I can’t get them on the table (dejected sigh).”
“Sorry to hear that. Could you freshen up my ice tea?”
“Sure, let me just get the ice out of the deep freeze. Where did you put the pick?” Epiphany! That’s right, sports fans, Dr. Freeman realized that if he took an instrument that looked like an ice pick and inserted in the superior aspect of the ocular cavity above the eye, the simple tap of a mallet and a little lateral movement would lobotomize someone faster than you can say mafia. 10 minutes – in and out. He also realized that, well, crazy people probably wouldn’t allow him to shove an ice pick in their eye socket (maybe they’re not so crazy, after all). Recognizing that asylums have electro-shock therapy, a simple turn of a dial and, presto! A little extra juice renders them unconscious and they get to wake up to a whole new view of the world – assuming they wake up…
Don’t these people recognize genius when they see it?
Unfortunately, those prickly ethicists and politicians who questioned the validity of the procedure based on treatment success (approximately 1/3 improved, 1/3 stayed the same and 1/3 got worse) only bogged down Dr. Freeman and his quest for greatness. The procedure was banned in Japan, USSR…wait, these countries are banning it on ethical and scientific grounds, but it was still practiced in the good old US of A???? Shouldn’t we be a little concerned about that??? Does Gulag or bamboo under the fingernails ring any bells? Anyway, Dr. Freeman spent the remainder of his life defending and trying to maintain the legitimacy of the procedure, but when a patient died of a massive haemorrhage during the ice pick brain-scramble, things came to a grinding halt. Additionally, with the introduction of Thorazine in the United States, the necessity of Psychosurgery all but disappeared. And you know things had to be bad for Thorazine to be the lesser of two evils. It had all but ceased by the 1970’s, but it is still performed on a very limited basis today.
So, for the past year or two, I’ve been fascinated by US politics – I’ve often referred to it as the ultimate reality show. And it never ends. No new season. No re-runs (well, sorta), new characters and some of the old guard and controversy, controversy, controversy. I found it engrossing. I couldn’t look away. I know, I know – I’m Canadian and I’m supposed to be interested in my own country’s affairs, but if US politics is the ultimate reality show, Canadian politics is the ultimate narcotic.
Insert sound of obese Texan snoring. While sitting on his front porch. Confederate flag t-shirt. Empty bottle of Jack on the porch just underneath his droopy, dirty, sausage-fingered hand. You get the picture. That’s how I feel about Canadian politics.
But.
I don’t think I can stomach the reality show anymore. The bold-faced lies, misrepresentations, the abject craziness (just watch any Fox News broadcast), the unwillingness to cooperate – it’s like watching a group of unsupervised sociopaths at play. And to top it all off, 2 Saturday’s ago, the Governor of Texas held a huge prayer meeting in Houston in an effort to take a man-made problem and shift the burden of fixing it to Jesus. Seriously?? That’s his solution?
By the way, have you been watching the stock market the past 2 weeks? Just asking.
So, I can’t do it anymore. I feel like someone watching a car accident in super slow motion, the bodies are flying and there’s nothing I can do. And I can’t watch any longer. I know there are people who can watch it and are willing to do something about it. I’m grateful for these people. I’m just not one of them.
But before I abandon it completely, a few comments and observations. Firstly, what is the obsession with a half term Alaska governor who can’t finish an unscripted sentence and who hasn’t had an original thought since…………..ever? And ownership of property is NOT unique characteristic of the land of the free and the home of the brave (I own my home and business…), so please, get over that. Oh, and roads, policemen, firemen, signs, your army and so on cost money – it’s called taxation. It’s the cost of not having a band of roving marauders come pillage your town. And having nice roads to drive on. You get the idea. And what is the deal with everyone going crazy about kids learning evolution is school? Frankly, it’s a little embarrassing to watch. Just FYI – the rest of the world is looking at you and scratching their heads (when they’re not giggling). And I promise (as multiple studies seem to confirm) your family and the children of Gay & Lesbian couples will be just fine (that is, if the good religious folks can stop abusing them…). So, please, for all our sakes, just stop the crazy, angry, polarizing rhetoric.
So, I’m out. I just need to focus on things that don’t give me an ulcer. Or vertigo. Here’s to embracing the boredom!
The bedrock of a free society is the ability to speak ones mind, regardless of how distasteful others may find it. It’s true. It ain’t always pretty and it ain’t always fair, but it’s how a society maintains its freedom.
Unfortunately, some people make inflammatory comments when they’re motivated by hatred or ignorance or a desire to get attention. And sometimes, people make inflammatory comments when they’re too stupid to know otherwise. Enter Glenn Beck. During his Monday radio show, he said the following:
…then there was this shooting at a political camp, which sounds a little like, you know, the Hitler Youth, or whatever – I mean, who does a camp for kids that’s all about politics? Distrubing.
Okay. I’ve never been a fan of his douchebag road show for paranoid crazies, and as a litmus test, if you find anything he says has any merit or value – you’re probably crazy too. Okay, not probably – you are crazy. And probably stupid. Ugh, I did it again – correction: you are stupid. But this comment takes being a rotten human being to a new low.
Not to be outdone, though, he outdoes himself. Beck went on his show the next day, railing against anyone who dared have the temerity to suggest he was comparing those killed to Hitler Youth. He wasn’t suggesting that at all, he defended himself. It sounded like the ravings of a lunatic.
So, what’s the problem, you ask? Firstly, Glenn can say whatever he likes. It is his right. Absolutely, without question. It just comes with a cost. What is the cost? Ignorance. Hatred. Continued xenophobia. Paranoia. And then the time and energy spent trying to straighten out the lies and distortions of someone like this. Personally, I find him pretty much to be a caricature of himself, but many don’t. There are those who actually take this guy (and others like him) seriously. That’s the frightening part and that is the cost of free speech – there is always someone willing to listen.
I’m sure this isn’t the last we’ll hear of this……..
p.s. click here to see who else has political camps for kids.
We’ve all been there. You’re in the middle of a disagreement (argument? debate?) and there is a moment when you realize – You are wrong, and the other person is right. Ugh. It’s a little painful. And humbling. And painful. Your status in the tribe was just diminished a little (or, at least your perception of your status…). Now you have a choice: stop, admit you were wrong (in part or in whole) or, as is so often the case, you can confabulate, distort facts or simply lie.
Confession: I’ve done this. I’m not proud of it, but I’m guilty. I’m happy to say that if I think someone is presenting a point that contradicts mine, and it is (albeit, rarely) correct, I will concede the point. I still feel a little pain. But it is nothing compared to the dirty feeling of distorting facts or flat-out lying.
Isn’t this one of the many ways we learn? By abandoning some faulty a priori belief and replacing it with a more substantiatable idea we become a little more knowledgeable. And isn’t that a good thing? Sadly, many people do not feel this way. Many feel it is better to establish a point than to be correct. Here is an example of one such person:
And he does it for a living.
It seems that if you have to distort facts, confabulate or flatly lie to establish your position, it indicates that your position is inherently weak. The appropriate thing to do in this situation is not to keep plowing ahead, but maybe stop, re-evaluate your position and either gather new evidence to support it or consider another viewpoint.
Let me close by giving a personal example: A few years ago, I had a mid-life crisis car. It was really fast and a really loud. Out of courtesy to my neighbors, I didn’t like to warm it up while sitting in my driveway for more than a minute or two (it was really loud. And fast. Did I mention that?). Unfortunately, I had a neighbor who thought that was still too much. She sent a complaint into the city that stated I sat in my driveway, for 10-15 minutes, revving my engine, blaring the stereo (the car didn’t have a stereo) at all hours of the day and night. It was a flat-out pack of lies, because sending a complaint to the city that said “yeah, he warms his car up for a minute or two and then drives away” doesn’t get much attention.
The good news is I placed one phone call to the city and the problem disappeared. Sadly, because Calgary weather is so profoundly crappy, so did the car. I sold it this spring. I guess my mid-life crisis is over.
Incidentally, this same neighbor was complaining to another about the “noise pollution” caused by his daughters backyard swing-set. Crazy.
You have, by now, heard about Anders Breivik, the man who allegedly set off a bomb in downtown Oslo on Friday and later went to an island youth camp, killing dozens. The death toll is currently at 93, which is certain to change in the coming weeks. Apparently, as he describes in his 1,500 page “manifesto” (and by manifesto I mean psychotic screed) he rails against European “Islamization” and invites all to “celebrate us, the martyrs of the conservative revolution, for soon we will dine in the kingdom of heaven.” He continues his diatribe against “cultural Marxism,” “multiculturalism” and that the ultimate goal is the beginnings of a “civil war” that will come to a close in 2083 (apparently he didn’t consult Harold Camping or the Mayans…) when Marxists and Muslims will be deported from Europe in what will be the European Declaration of Independence.
I know. We’ve seen versions of this kind of crazy before.
And it never gets less disturbing. Or heartbreaking. Or sickening.
There are families in Norway who were making plans to go to a movie this week. Or to dinner. Or on vacation. Or who had plans to do nothing at all, but, oh, I don’t know, go on living?!?!
And now, because of some deranged, conservative, Islam-hating, quasi-religious nut, all of that is gone. Forever. As in, never seeing their friends and loved ones again. It’s this thought of the countless lives damaged, injured or lost because of bat-shit crazy beliefs that made me wonder Did they miss something the first time around? So, in an effort to maybe help people re-calibrate a faulty moral compass, here’s some guidelines by which you can, just maybe, make decisions that don’t result in others dying, being subjugated or otherwise discriminated against:
I suppose the list could go on, but I this is a good primer. And there are many who would and will defend their actions by an appeal to an ancient text. To that I would simply say: If these actions are so very important, then let the author come and tell me himself (herself? itself?). A self-important PR rep is not good enough (did you hear that, Pat Robertson??).
We live in an amazing time. Truly amazing. Miraculous. Mind-expanding and mind-blowing. Think of it: in our not-too-distant past, say 30,000 years ago, we hunted, gathered, reproduced and died. Some of our ancestors explored – they left our ancestral African homeland and migrated toward all points on the compass, resulting in the diversity of races we see today.
That’s pretty cool.
But it was a harsh life. Life expectancy was short and you were not likely to die of any natural cause. Disease, starvation, homicide (many estimates put this figure at greater than 50%), childbirth (mother and/or child) just to name a few of the causes. It’s not really until the 20th century that we see a precipitous decline, numerically at least, in the misery of our species.
But make no mistake – you are living in a silicon world with a Paleolithic brain.
Our society has evolved much faster than we have and our cortex’s are trying desperately to catch up. True, we are pattern seekers. That can be part of the problem. Our ancestors, while worthy of our gratitude, have, unfortunately, saddled us with a cortical machinery that is prone to all kinds of logical errors. We try to find out a relationship between events A and B and it seems we are wrong as often (more often?) than we are right. Recent history (and by recent, I mean the past 3,000-4,000 years) is littered with examples of this: Human Sacrifice by Aztecs (I mean, something has to be making the sun come up); The hanging/burning/torturing of women because they have bewitched a community; Genocide (again and again and again); Astrology (seriously, who believes this shit?); Alchemy (sorry, Mr. Newton – you’re still really, really smart, though); Ancient Egyptians making offerings and giving thanks to Hapi, the Nile river god; and the list goes on.
Understanding there’s a problem is the first step to recovery.
Another gift from our ancestors is fear. Evolutionary Psychologists recognize the benefits of fear in a tribal community living in the Neolithic Mediterranean. It helped one survive all the potential threats to ones well-being. And as such, it’s a powerful motivator. One of our best. Think about it: when do you study the hardest for an exam? Yeah, the night before. Why? Because the fear of failure has taken hold. It’s okay. Just recognize it. Oh, there is a solution to alleviating that fear: Start studying 1-2 weeks before the exam, dumb-ass! This does wonders for your grades and gives your adrenal glands a rest.
Unfortunately, there are many who will use this very powerful emotion to further their own causes. Be cautious when approached by this type of person. They are to be avoided. Now, let’s be clear – there are some things to fear. Spiders, for instance. Seriously, those critters are Kree-py! You may also want to fear that teenage girl whose car is meandering into your lane because she is Oh my gosh, are you, like, serious? That is so, like, gross! texting. That is your fear put to good use. You get your shot of adrenaline, you focus, everything slows down and you are able to avoid an accident. Unless you’re texting too, in which case we can simply give you both Darwin awards to being so profoundly stupid. Thanks for helping the advancement of the species. No, really. Thanks.
No, I’m cautioning against any person, group, organization, political party, whatever, that uses fear as a prime motivator. When Lori and I first moved to Chicago, I had to get new car insurance. I went to a local dealer and met with a very pleasant, but pushy agent. After our initial business was finished, she tried to sell me plenty of other insurance products, including some pricy life insurance. “You never know, Tom. I mean, God forbid, something should happen to you on the way home from my office.” Yeah, she actually said that.
I didn’t buy the life insurance.
But it did make be start to notice how many people try to sell their message, not on it’s own merit, not based on it’s inherent advantages, but with fear. “If you don’t do X, then Y will surly happen to you!” It seems to me that if a message cannot stand on its own, due to it’s own impotence, then inject a little fear and that will certainly get people’s attention.
I see this all the time. And it makes me crazy. I would suggest you treat with more than a little suspicion any person, group or organization that uses fear to motivate. Why the opposition to Gay marriage? It will ruin your family and our country!! And God will smite you is the war cry. If you don’t buy this alarm system, who knows what will happen to you is the sales tactic. If you vaccinate your kids, they’ll get autism is the message of the deranged. Private/Socialized health care will kill you. It’ll kill us all!! is what we’re told by political parties and special interest groups. It’s this that often prevents us from thinking for ourselves, from doing what is right and from making rational decisions. And let’s face it, that’s hard enough to do under the most providential circumstances – it’s impossible to do when crippled by fear. Fear of loss. Fear of dying. Fear of judgement, criticism and rejection.
Fear is the prime motivator of people/groups/organizations that aren’t interested in promulgating the facts. So, think. Study. Consider the facts. Our fear can save us in from many harms in this world. And it’s a great world. I love the time I live in. I’m glad I’m not migrating across a land bridge from Asia to North America. It’s just important to recognize that while things like fear helped our ancestors survive that brutal environment and it can help us avoid Jordan who texts while driving, it can also severely impair or cripple our ability to think rationally and examine facts as they are.
Wow. That was a scary post…..
My son, Alex, the ape-child, has moved out. He moved to to Nanaimo, BC.
Why?
He was invited to come play for a junior football team and, well, he tried out and made it.
Woot!
The only problem is that he now lives in a place that I don’t. I always knew this day would come. And I always knew I would be proud of him. And I am. But I miss him.
I miss how he pokes his head out of his room when I come home late.
I miss how he gets in my face.
I miss how he always tries to wrestle me – yeah, I’m undefeated, but that’s not the point. It’s his way of hugging. I think.
I miss the smell of teenage boy when I come home. Um. Okay, maybe not that. No. Definitely not that.
But all the other stuff I do.
I miss his jokes.
I watched this video at work the other day and it made me think of him.
Yeah. I got completely choked up. I went into my bathroom and had to tell myself to “Get it together, Tom! You’ve got a root canal to do.” That hasn’t happened to me for just over 5 years.
I know (I think? I hope?) he’ll do great. I know this is good for him and he’ll come home a man.
Yesterday he was a baby in my arms.
I just miss him……..